The NPE's Compass
Compassionately
Overcoming
Misattributed
Paternity
Adverse
Shock &
Symptoms
"Your true compass will lead you home to the true you"
~ Mundy Morgan
Discovery Disclosure
One of the first things that will need to be dealt with after a surprise DNA discovery is making the decision to disclose and to whom you will disclose to.
Without guidance, NPE's may impulsively share the disclosure with their mother, significant other, sibling, and/or best friend before putting much thought or preparation into it.
This may lead to devastating consequences.
Remember, this is often a secret that has been kept secret for decades out of stigma and/or shame or in the name of protection.
Furthermore, you may be unprepared for the often-common invalidating reactions of others, which may lead to further emotional turmoil and mental distress.
It is important to weight the pros and cons of disclosure as well as prepare for the different possible scenarios that may result from the disclosure.
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Self-care
Self-care is critical to help you navigate this DNA discovery journey. This discovery will undoubtedly result in a whirlwind of emotions. Some beginning emotions are often shock, denial, bewilderment, and bargaining. Then the anger and rage may erupt, along with being overcome with shame. You may feel like you just broke into a hundred pieces and then there is the feeling of intense loss. Often the feelings are layered like an onion which must be slowly peeled away, only to have them come back again with full force. As the saying goes, you must "feel it to heal it". This is the really tough part where it is essential to have a compassionate specialist to help you through.
Self-care will help you function despite all of the overwhelming feelings. Self-care includes hygiene, sleep, healthy diet, adequate exercise, and preferable some mindfulness, deep breathing, and reflection every day.
Self-care also includes working through this discovery.